I must say the ultra deep discussion I had with my sister about clothes was definitely blog worthy. It started off with theorizing why the hell were polo shirts invented? I have my theories and I still am not sure why they exist.
Now I know everybody has seen that person walking down the street or in a store just oh-so-casually strutting their stuff in a pair of rumpled khakis and a striped polo shirt with a stupid embroidered animal on the chest. I have wondered for years if the polo was a conspiracy started by the office casual coalition. It seems to fit the description of the standard office casual or casual Fridays look.
My theory is that they needed a cousin shirt to the tee that was a little more formal and able to multi task as a weekday friend and weekend warrior. That’s where the annoyingly thick ribbed collar comes in. Honestly it’s not what I want callousing my neck all freaking day. And the little placket of three buttons, is that for the big headed person who has trouble with tees, but doesn’t like the formality of wearing a button-down? Or is it for the creepy over-weight tan men who have chest hair that would make Bigfoot proud to prove that they are not old and still sexy? Or is it for that weirdo throw back to the 70s guy to perfectly frame his ginormous gold chain on a perfectly coiffed rug of brown chest hair? Can you tell chest hair kinda creeps me out? And I married an Italian, go figure.
The discussion soon turned to wondering if other countries have the polo shirt obsession that we have, do they wear them too? Can I go to Paris or Rome and see countless guys walking down the street in the ultimate prep school uniform? Seeing as most foreign guys that visit my neck of the woods wear what I’ve deemed the ultimate Euro tourist uniform, I’m doubting it. Every single one I see that doesn’t have kids following behind seem to wear super dark form fitting jeans, beige or tan slim fitting sneakers that have elastic or velcro closures and a white, floral or striped fitted button down shirt. So either the polo wearing guys in other countries don’t like to travel to Central Florida or they don’t exist. Which leads me to the philosophical thought of “If a foreign tourist wears a polo and no sees him, does he exist?” ponder it. Or not. I don’t care.
Now you might wonder what the tourist guys with kids following behind you, that you know only came to go to Disney are wearing. Well that one is simple. Pair of too-short to be American mesh soccer shorts, a tee with their favorite soccer team in it. They can wear their favorite tee here without being harassed seeing as the majority of Americans never catch on when the tourist talks about their favorite football team. The American will sit there with an image of Big Ben in the background as the British “football” team tosses around the pigskin. The similarity between American football and foreign football ends with the fans, you know the bare bellied guys with slogans, numbers and colors painted on their body? That same tourist dad will also be wearing the same type of shoes as the non-dad tourist, but his will be dark colored for that authentic “soccer” look. He will also being wearing the latest in fanny pack fashion. Sometimes I wish wearing them were cool, like when I’m in the 2 hour line at Animal Kingdom to ride Kilimanjaro Safari and both my kids are whining that their legs are tired and want to be held, but my ginormous purse is too big and heavy to hold said kids in my arms.
With that being said, I love the tourist, they bring much needed money to this area and keep people employed so that they can feed their kids and buy them polo shirts. And I know if I was to go anywhere outside of my area I would be ridiculed for the way I dress. The whole florida casual beach-bum look doesn’t translate well in Rochester, NY I found out a few years ago after getting more than a few strange looks and smirks. Who would have thought converse sneakers and snow were a bad combination? My feet thats who.
Tags: Beach bum, Clothes, fanny pack, fashion, Florida, football, Polo Shirts, soccer, Tourist
